I Don’t Want A Guy Who Wants To Get Married

I don’t want to be with someone who wants to get married. As of recently I’m single and anyone who’s college-aged who’s had to end a relationship they for sure thought would last a lifetime had thoughts like, “What does this mean now? Will I date anyone again? Will I get married? Will I be 40 when I finally get married?” You know it’s true. And it’s totally understandable.

But I don’t want to date someone who wants to get married. My final semester of college was loaded with engagements. I literally lost count of the people around me who were getting engaged just in time to graduate, and some were even getting married before that and skipping class to go on their honeymoon (compared to me, who skipped class to get Taco Bell breakfast before the cut-off time).

I don’t judge any of their decisions, and normally it’s totally easy for me to celebrate other people’s special moments (I think it’s a spiritual gift, really), but I felt like so many people just wanted to get married. And I get it. I have the wedding Pinterest board. I’m not gonna lie. But all I hear about is the wedding. All I see is that after barely 6 months of getting to know someone, people are like yay I’m finally getting married. 

And I know not everyone’s story is the same, and some people date longer or shorter than others. And some of those people are truly marrying their person, but so much of the focus is on having the wedding, being married.

But I don’t want someone who just wants to get married. I want someone who wants me. Who doesn’t see marriage as the end goal and final step to a relationship, but who sees a future with me beyond a wedding and says, “That’s the woman I want to do life with from here on out, and if it takes more time than I’d like to get married then that’s fine because I don’t need to say ‘I do’ to start the rest of my life with her.”

Everyone’s story is different. And who knows, I may not get married before the age I’d really like to, but if that means I’m with the person who wants me, and who didn’t put a limit on the “right” time to get married in order to wait for the best love, then I’ll be content.


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