Anyone who knows me well has probably heard me talk about one of my favorite authors, who I also admire and look up to greatly, Bob Goff. I’m convinced we are meant to be friends, and even though he never emailed me back a few years ago, he has liked several of my tweets since then, so it’s okay Bob, I’m over it. I still wanna be friends.
Bob wrote a book called Love Does. It changed the way I look at Jesus, and love, and my life purpose. I titled this blog post Love Does because this year has taught me a lot about what love is, and what it most definitely is not.
This year has been one of the hardest, most difficult, most painful seasons of my life. It’s been full of loss, transition, anger, forgiveness, as well as laughs and celebration. There have been sad and happy tears. Lots of them.
There have been moments so low I thought I wouldn’t make it, and also moments of joy I’ll never forget. But of all the moments I’ve had, and things I’ve learned, it’s still love that’s in the forefront of my mind.
Love does. As in, it takes action. It continues in the midst of doubt and disappointment. It’s steadfast towards people who maybe don’t deserve it. It is relentless, even when it’s no longer a feeling. The only thing love does not do, is make sense. Love forgives the unforgivable. Love seeks reconciliation. Love reaches out to the outcast. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does.
The most painful love lesson, though, has been the one I’ve learned with God. The struggles of this year have not come without spiritual struggles too. God and I have had several heated conversations – with me doing most of the talking. I talked at Him a lot, and not to Him. I told Him how, yes, this was unfair, not what I had planned, very painful, and I would like it if He’d take it all away thank-you-very-much. I gave Him the cold shoulder, and hid my face from Him out of shame. I thought, God has already done so much for me, He doesn’t owe me anything else.
I had been hurt. Disappointed. I didn’t trust people. And I didn’t trust Him.
However, in a recent breakthrough, I realized that love does. Although God’s presence is not always a feeling, He’s always doing. The whole time I thought I was in a place so dark and so low that not even God Himself could get me out, it dawned on me that He’d been carrying me. I, the person who normally pushes through hardships with little struggle, had completely lost my fight. I had let myself, and my God, down. I was so focused on what I thought I should be doing, that I was distracted from what God was doing.
I still have bad days, and sad days. A lot of things are a work in progress right now, but He carries me. I want to end by saying this:
Although I’ve felt darkness closing in on me, I’ve been reminded that there’s a light within me that cannot be put out.
Many of us look at new years as new beginnings. You can follow Jesus and have a brand new life and be a brand new person right now. For some it happens all at once, and for others it’s slow. That’s okay. I’ve noticed that Jesus gently leads me, and most things in my life He has done gradually. Get to know Him. He loves you. He has done great things for you.
Jesus gave His life for you. Why? Because love does.